Ricky Garni

When the World Seems a Little Gloomy

When the world seems a little gloomy, I try to picture Rachmaninoff, 
not playing his Third Piano Concerto to a feverish international acclaim, 
but instead trying to cross the street, bent over a little bit with an aching 
back and saying “Eh?” when someone riding a wicked fast horse yells 
“Watch out, grandpa!” and then because he doesn’t watch out the horse 
plows into him and knocks him on his rump and it smarts.

Even though this never happened, it does for me, and quite often, too. 
Usually before I fall in love, or before I fall in love with a catchy tune, 
or fall down, a little pretentiously, as though I were Rachmaninoff.


© 2008 Ricky Garni

I Like My New Job

Someday I will be a sweaty old fat man with my big ol’ pants hiked up to here
and wearing suspenders with little stars on them and saying things like ‘hokum’
and winking at the young lady cashiers who smile because I am so harmless. 
While they turn their backs to me and whisper to each other and giggle, 
I steal a big handful of candy and put it in my big ol’ pants hiked up to here.   


© 2008 Ricky Garni

Daredevil

I watched Daredevil pull a tooth out of his mouth with a pair of pliers because he had been in a fight and I suppose the tooth was damaged beyond repair at that point and I thought that this might inspire me to pull a tooth out of my own mouth I am thinking of one tooth specifically that is causing me a great deal of grief so much in fact that I don’t even like jumping up and down anymore like when Trudy said Guess what I got accepted at Harvard and all I could do was say That’s great and she said Then why aren’t you jumping up and down and I didn’t want to explain about that one tooth in particular because it would distract from the conversation about getting into Harvard and I really would have preferred to just pull it out right there with a pair of pliers and then jump up and down and say Wow that’s great you got into Harvard and Trudy would say I can’t believe that you just did that thing with the pliers that was so manly it’s something that even Daredevil wouldn’t do and he’s a daredevil but then I would have to tell Trudy the truth No Daredevil would do it but he wouldn’t do it in front of anybody he would do it in his secret HQ with the light off and with no one around you see superheroes have no friends even though they are brave and handsome and interesting because they can’t bear the idea of putting their loved ones or business associates or dentists or anybody in jeopardy and so they pull their own teeth out in the dark with no one there to say gee that’s manly No Trudy their lives are so dark and they are so alone so isolated so unloved But Trudy said I hope that’s not you Trudy said Is that you Guess what Trudy said I’m pregnant

© 2008 Ricky Garni

BACK